Venezia on speed

I know, it has been a long time. I've gotten behind and overwhelmed with the prospect of catching up. I've decided to start where we are and go from there. Our latest excursion was Tuesday, June 10. We took a day trip to Venezia (for you swines, that is Venice Joke). You saw that right, a day trip to Venice. Not much time you say? So true. We woke up and got the kids ready to go for a 6:30 A.M. flight. Okay, so no trip is without chaos and this was no acception. Without giving too much unwanted information, when I got Ellie up, she was completely dry. I didn't change her diaper, what for, right? Not 10 minutes into the flight, she was soaked. I don't mean just the diaper. I mean Onsie, pants, seat. Luckily, the seat was leather and easy to clean up, and thank goodness I brought an extra outfit for her. I knew I would need one, just not so soon. Crisis one-CHECK. Let me clue you in a little on Tony. Do any of you know him? He tends to be a little high strung and has things he would like to do, so you must be as efficient as possible. I don't know if any one has told him, but having four kids negates efficiency. Mind you, we had six hours to do all things Venice. Okay, so we get to Venice. We get off of the plane and the bus from the airport to actual Venice is loading. Must hurry. No time to use potty. Must be efficient. Now, not only do we have four kids, but also a wife with feminin issues. I know, shocking. Keep in mind, no time to potty. We get to Venice and I inform Tony that it is very necessary to find a bathroom. Well, apparently, there are no toilets anywhere in Venice. "You are going to have to wait until we get to a stop." So he is annoyed with me and I with him. We board the Vaparetto and ride for a while. The weather is beautiful, by the way. Tony decides it is best to get off at some church stop. That is literally all that is there. We get off and I again inform him that I need to use a bathroom. How dare me. "There's not going to be a bathroom here. What do you want me to do?" I of course don't care what he does. All I want is a bathroom. After about 15 more minutes and the both of us wanting to kill each other, we find a bathroom. Hooray. I'm not sure how he thought we were going to do an entire day in a place he was sure had no bathrooms. I had no idea the Italians were so far behind in modern conveniences but...luckily, the Italians had the bathrooms. Crisis two-CHECK. We walked around this church, kids thrilled(not) , Tony contemplating murder, and I wondering where the next bathroom is going to be, just in case. Sound like fun yet? We get back on the waterbus and head to San Marco. It is 10:30 and noone has eatten, so we stop to get some food. Maren and Parker are happy to see that they have hotdogs, Riley is totally stoaked that they have diet Coke and bread and I am happy to get pizza. Tony is just happy not to want to kill anyone at this point. Food was great, everyone's content. Back to the time crunch. We need to go to Murano to watch glass blowing, go to San Marco Square, tour Doge's Palace, ride a gondole, and take waterbus back to bus parking, all by 3:00. No time for enjoyment. Don't try. Kids are super excited. Can you hear the sarcasm? Sounds plausable, doesn't it? Four hours to GO time. We made it to San Marco Square and get in line to go into the basilica. Long line. We get to the door and we are told that we can't bring any bags into the church. We only have a backpack, but Tony decides we should go in and he will stay out. He's already been. Kids...super excited. There are signs with pictures telling you what you can and can't have or do in the church. One looks like two children. Maren is sure kids are not allowed in the building. Turns out that it is NO BATHING SUITS. Kind of funny. Anyway, Ellie is freaking out. "Scary, mommy. It's scary." This is a trend for the rest of the day. Apparently, she doesn't like statues. The church was cool to see, even though I didn't really get to absorb much because the kids wanted to get out. We find Tony and head to Doge's Palace. Riley and Parker are determined to get us kicked out of something, and can't keep there hands off of each other. Riley knocks Parker over in line for tickets and, the looks we get...mostly simpathic. It's very different than being in Belgium. If looks could kill, we'd have been dead in January. Anyway, we went through the castle and the dungeon and Parker/Riley only fell 4 or 5 times as a result of the other. Ellie freaked out only a couple of times, and in all it was great. It is now 12:30. Tony decided that we need to go on a gondole, but we need to be on the waterbus by 2, in order to get to the bus by 3, in order to get to the airport by 4, in order to be on the plane by 5. No pressure. Plenty of gondoles to choose from, so we approached one. The guy speaks perfect English. That's a plus. We could choose to pay 100, 120, or 150 Euro for three different length trips. Remember, we have a bit of a time cruch. 100 Euro seems a bit much for even the shortest trip, so we start to move along because we may have to stop at an ATM for some money. The man lets us walk away, but comes after us saying he can do the shortest for 80 Euro. Still a lot in my mind, but who goes to Venice and doesn't go on a gondole. It is a must. So, we bite and tell him we have 20-30 minutes at the most. "I can make is as short as you want. Now is a great time, because everyone is at lunch. No traffic." There was a couple of traffic jams, but he encourages the other gondoliers to let us pass. He tells them in Italian that we only have 20 minutes, and laughes, kind of making fun. I don't know much if any Italian, but 20 minutes sounds very similar to 20 minutes in French, and laughing is the same in any language. So anyway, the ride was fun, and that was about the only time we could relax, because we had no control of the time. After all the rushing, we had just enough time to the Rialto Bridge to look at some shops and get some gelati. No time for Murano. Maybe another day. So we take the waterbus to the bus and head back to the airport. Rush, rush, rush all day to make a 5:10 flight. We get to our gate, tons of people. Only 20 minutes or so until we board, or so we think. We waited in a "line", no such thing in Europe, just a large group of people fighting there way to the front to be first. They must have been absent the day they taught "wait your turn" in school. In the process of waiting, only one fight ensued. At least only one we were witness to. A French couple behind us and a Dutch man were trying to get past us. We didn't move. The woman tries to talk the Dutch man into letting her by. He's not having it. After a few heating minutes, the French man put his hand on the Dutch man and tells him to relax. The Dutch man then takes the French man's finger and proceeds to bend it back. I'm not sure what happened after that to stop it, but it ended. Crisis three-CHECK. It is now 5:30 or so, we are supposed to have taken off already and we aren't even on the plane. Finally, we can board. The airline we flew is no frills. No seat assignments, nothing. We were in the middle of the "line" before boarding, and some how when it got to check in at the gate, we were last. Not sure how that happened. Anyway, what are the chances we will have seats together? Pretty much no chance. We need to have at the very least, 3 sets of two seats in order to make it work. There's a seat here and a seat there. Two in one place two in another and all the rest singles. Riley needs an adult, Ellie needs an adult, Maren and Parker at the very least need each other. I sit with Ellie on my lap and Maren sits next to me. Parker is alone, but close and Tony is with Riley. The flight attendant tells me that Ellie needs her own seat. I understand this, but where are we supposed to put Maren? Anyway, she moves a row of three and the spread out. Luckily, there were some nice people willing to change seats so Maren and Parker could sit toghether towards the back of the plane, I sat by Ellie and Riley, and Tony is behind us. Crisis Four-CHECK. After all of that, we missed our window, and had to sit on the tarmack for another hour and 5 or so. Hurry up and wait. Sound familiar? We made it back in one piece and we did have a good time. I only wish I had a little more memory of exact details. Again...another time. Are you tired? I know I am.